My Friend: …okay then, I killed everyone
Me: GOOD JOB.
Me: If you kill me, I’m going to kill you.
Him: Then we’d both be dead…
Me: Which would be incredibly inconvenient…SO, you don’t kill me, I don’t kill you?
Him: I couldn’t kill you…you’re too cute
Me: And I couldn’t kill you because then, Haart would have no one to marry.
Him: *backs away*
Him: Where the heck did that come from…
Me: GOOOOOD QUESTION
Me: It came from the zoo. Mhm.
Him: I want to go to the zoo…
Me: But you can’t.
Me: BECAUSE if you do then you might accidentally walk by the tigers, who would call to the lions, who would roar at the seals…
and then the seals would start splashing around, and the penguins would take it as a declaration of war so then there would be this HUGE…
*he walks away for a second, then comes back*
Him: Okay, you lost me at huge.
Me: ….So then there would be this HUGE water fight. So then, this little wave of water would hit the bears, and the bears
would be napping so they would hate the water, so they would start rattling the bars of their cage and scare the giraffe’s, who are for some reason next to the wolves, who would howl and scare the animals in the petting zoo, who would scare the kids, who would start running…then the guards would think they’re under an attack, so then the snakes would break out from all these high-pitched screams and then they would all die from a sudden terrorist attack
And you might manage to escape to the parking lot, BUT THEN THE ELEPHANTS GET LOOSE and trample you…
AND THEN YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO MARRY HAART
Him: Like I said…I lost you at huge.
COMMENTARY: So, as it turns out, he probably posted that entire thing on Google +, and I’ll end up suing him.
But FROM ALL THIS, I came to the conclusion that I really need to write more, ’cause that was pretty awesome.