The first thing she felt when she woke up the next morning was…happiness. She wasn’t usually happy…what happened? OH! She went out with Carl yesterday. She smiled faintly sitting up. She looked behind her at the wall. On the wall was a plastic bracelet with blue, silver, and purple beads on it. She reached up to put it on when reality hit her and she froze. She went out with Carl yesterday.
“Yoo-hoo! Sissy sissy sistah, wake uuuuuup.” Her youngest sister entered the room to find her looking worse then she had in a long time. Her face was an ashy grey shade, her hands were trembling, and she was on the brink of tears.
“A-a……a-are you okay?” Her sister would have cried just seeing her like that if the color hadn’t have returned back to her face.
“Wait…huh? OH, yeah, fine. I’m up. Bye.” Her sister, still unsure of her sister’s currently state of health, turned back timidly once at the door.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, yes. I’m fine. Go eat breakfast or something.” Her sister closed the door cautiously, as if afraid something else might happen.
When the door was finally closed, she slumped against her pillow. What was she going to do? She shouldn’t have gone out with him…she should’ve made up an excuse of some sort. Yes, she should’ve said her dad was still home and sick, and that she needed to take care of him. She felt like banging her head against the wall.
Why. Did. She. Let. Him. Stay.
She looked up again at the bracelet she was going to grab off the wall just minutes ago. In a sudden burst of rage, she ripped the bracelet off the wall, tore it apart, and scattered the beads everywhere. With a look of lunacy in her eyes, she looked around the room, looking for something else to tear apart. While combing the room with a hungry look in her eye, she saw something gleaming near the window. Hopping across the cold floor, she reached the window sill and reached out to see what the gleaming thing was. What she saw made her recoil in horror. It was the silver and pink bead. The only bead on the bracelet that had ever meant anything to her. She sank slowly onto the rug, and cried. She cried for everything that had happened. She cried for everything feeling she’d ever had, for every decision she had make, and would ever have to make. She cried because of all her mistakes, because of all the chances she never took, because of all the things she never said or never did.
She cried for Carl. She cried because she was sorry.