EDIT: *ONE WEEK LATER* I now realize that I should put a little pre-face thing on this. So HERE IT IS WORLD.
I just felt like writing. So I wrote a story.
Enjoy the amazingness everybody:
The detective slumped forward, putting his head in his hands. Realizing that this probably didn’t look very professional, he straightened his spine, and ran his hands through his tousled hair. He was tired. He’d been in his office with these three ladies, and they hadn’t exactly been helpful. If anything, they were making the case more confusing.
“Okay ladies…let’s start again from the top. What happened, again. What happened exactly.”
“Well, I came home from my job-”
“What exactly is your job?” He swore that if he had to say exactly one more time, he might throttle someone.
“I was GETTING to that,” the lady said indignantly. “I work as a cashier at Happy Mart.”
He cursed under his breath. Everything about that place screamed FAKE!
“Anyways, I got out of my car, and came in through the garage. When I went into the living room, my husband was on the floor…dead.” Her eyes were red-rimmed, but she’d told the story enough times to where she didn’t burst into tears at any mention of her husband. Thank goodness, he thought, or I’d have given up ages ago.
“The same happened with me. I work at that night club bar, and I don’t have a garage since I live in an apartment, but everything else was the same. He was even lying in the same position her husband was,” she said, as she jerked a thumb in the direction of her sister. The first lady dressed in that old-fashioned kind of way…old-fashioned as in she wore flower print dresses with big, flowery hats. It didn’t look bad on her, her figure was curvy and the strawberry blond hair and rosy lips brought the outfit together, but it was disconcerting. She wears stuff my grandmother would wear. She was, however, really nice. She had a soft kind of attitude, and if they had met under different circumstances, he probably would’ve asked her out to dinner.
The second sister was exactly the opposite. She was a little short, and looked a little chubby, though her black hair helped make her look skinnier. She wore biker clothes, and had a very fiery attitude…about everything. For the first few hours, every question he asked was received with ultimate hostility.
“Okay, so you both get home, and your husbands are dead. Right?” The two ladies nodded in agreement.
“Then you freak out, call each other, then call the police. Correct?” They nodded again.
“Okay…but what I STILL don’t understand,” he said as he swiveled his chair to face the other woman, “is why you’re here.” This sister was by far, he thought, the most interesting. She wore outlandish clothing (India? Caribbean?) and she had her hair completely tied back, but in a way that framed her olive skin very nicely. She had been mostly quiet, contributing whatever information he asked, but he hadn’t gotten a chance to really talk with her yet.
At first, he couldn’t believe they were all sisters. At all. In fact, he almost called Ted in to get a finger-print check. But then, he realized, that would add to the tension he already-had-but-didn’t-need. The first one probably wouldn’t touch the ink, the second one would protest vehemently, and the third one…he wasn’t sure what she would do.
“Well she’s our sister, of course,” the first lady said.
“Yeah, where we go, she goes,” said the second lady.
“Uh, okay…how bout I get an answer from her this time? Go on.” He was getting extremely frustrated with these two. They seemed to never let their youngest sister talk.
“Well…I’m here because they brought me. I’m their sister.”
“See? Told you.”
“All detectives are the same…all hoity-toity and-”
“SHUSH. Okay now,” he said, still trying to talk to the third woman, “so do you happen to know anything about the murders?” He had already asked this before, but she wasn’t ever able to answer correctly because one of her other sister always swooped in with some story about how beautiful their wedding days were and how their husbands would take them on picnics or something or another.
“Of course she doesn’t!”
“She wasn’t even here when-”
“OKAY LADIES, I’VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU. SHUT UP, OR YOU’LL BOTH BE ARRESTED.” Surprisingly, they actually did shut up. The first one looked offended and the second one looked like she wished she had a knife, but they were quiet.
“Okay Ms. Future. Did you kill Mr. Past and Present?”
“…Yes. I did.” Mrs. Past and Present’s mouths hung open, but they were still silent as they looked back and forth between the two of them.
Time got out of his chair and walked over to the mirror. While trying to fix his hair, he asked, “Why?”
“Because I was tired of them,” Future said, as if it were as simple as that. “They both married jerks. They both have been shepherding and bossing my around since I was born. Now, at least, I can go to jail and not have to see them again.”
Still combing his hair, Time asked “Why didn’t you just leave the country?”
“They would have followed me. They ALWAYS follow me. They always have to be first.”
Finally satisfied with how his hair looked, he turned around and smiled. “You do realize we have visiting hours…right?”
Future’s face slowly went from confused too a chalky white as her brain registered what he said.
Still smiling, he said “And your sister are always going to be first…just saying.” Time pushed the blue button under his desk drawer. Almost immediately, Ted walked in with a police officer.
“Misery, you can take her away now.”
As Future left, she shot him a withering look. All Time could do was smile and wink.
After everyone had been cleared out, Ted asked, “So how’d you figure it out?”
“Easy, she told me.”
Ted looked confused. “Really? Why would she want to do that?”
Time lounged back comfortably in his swivel chair. This chair had been through many a case with him. “She was protecting someone.”
“Who? She wasn’t even married, and she obviously hates her sisters.”
“Yep.” Time twirled a pencil around his fingers. “Took a little while, but I figured it out.”
Faster then he’d ever thought possible, Ted was behind Time and was holding a knife to his throat.
“How did you figure it out?” he snarled. “We hid ALL the evidence. Everything.”
“Almost. Earlier, I was thinking aloud and wondering if I should bring you in to test everyone’s finer prints. Future was passing by and visibly jumped.”
“At least a foot.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter anyways. You’re going to die, right here, in that annoyingly squeaky chair you love for no reason.”
Time furrowed his brow. Was his chair really that squeaky? He shifted his leg a little bit. Yup, it was.
“Okay then. But one question, are you guys married?”
“As of last weekend, yes.”
“Okay, that’s all I needed to-”
“But just so you know,” Ted interrupted, “Future will always beat Time.”
With those words, Ted stabbed his best friend. At that very moment, a squadron of officers broke through the windows and doors.
“How did y-” Ted glanced over at Time.
With the last of his dying strength, Time managed a wavering smile as he held up a tape recorder that was duct taped to the bottom of his chair, recording every word of the days conversation.