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Creative Writing Inc.

The Post In Which I Include A Picture of Tyler Perry Dressed As A Woman July 13, 2014

Hello my wonderful fellow bloggers! It’s been awhile since I posted an actual post (June 16th, to be precise), so I decided to relieve your tired eyes (that should be asleep) and grace you with my amazing wit and funnyness.

PREPARE TO BE AMAZED.

So guys, this could just me being, well, me, but I am one of those people who like to know where I stand. I like to know the kind of person I’m talking too. I like to know what they think of me and so on and so forth.

What? I’m a girl, okay? I can’t be COMPLETELY perfect…

Just kidding, I am.

(Just kidding.)

But anyways, has it ever bothered anyone else when you’re talking to someone online (for me, it’s in my online classes for school), and you don’t know whether they’re a guy or a girl?

Tyler Perry? Madea? Tydea?

Tyler Perry? Madea? Tydea? Maperry?

Maybe it’s just a girl thing (or maybe it’s just a me thing) but it kind of bothers me. It didn’t used to…but now it does. Just a little. It’s kinda like an itch on your back. It’s hard to reach, but you can juuuuust scratch it. And then you go on your merry way, right?

But then 60 SECONDS LATER, it itches again.

There was this one time in 9th grade when I met this person in my English class. Their name was Dakota. I had a friend whose name was Dakota, and she’s a girl, so I thought “HEY LOOK! Another girl Dakota!! :D”

*Fast-forward to the middle of second semester*

A lot of the high school students had to switch homeroom teacher because our system was changing, so I ended up having the same HR teacher as Dakota. So we were all introducing ourselves and this one girl was like “I’m sorry for asking this Dakota, but I was just wondering…are you a girl or a boy?” to which he replied “Haha, no problem. I’m a guy :)”

That whole semester and a half of which he was my friend, I had assumed he was a girl. So I acted like he was a girl, without directly saying anything that SOUNDED like I thought he was a girl. I told my best guy friend later, and he laughed so hard…I kinda wanted to punch him in the shoulder, but 1) he lived on the other side of the state and 2) it was kinda of funny.

Just a teeny bit.

But WHILE I’m on the topic of genders, HOW CAN YOU PROPERLY SAY AN ANIMAL PICTURE IS CUTE WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT GENDER IT IS!? I mean, you’d either have to say “AWWWW! [Fill in the Blank] is so cuuuuuuute!” or “AWWWW! It’s so cuuuuuuuute!”

You can’t go around saying [Fill in the blank]! That’s ridiculous! And you can’t say IT. It’s not an it. It has a gender. ANIMALS HAVE FEELINGS TOO.

LOOK AT THESE EYES. DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THIS SEAL DOESN'T HAVE FEELINGS.

LOOK AT THESE EYES.

5 MONTHS LATER_UPDATE: Despite the over abundant use of capitalization, I was completely calm while writing this post…just wanted to throw that out there.

 

How to become a poet? July 9, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — pinkdoughnuts15 @ 9:49 am

Okay, well don’t LITERALLY fall, but I’m with this guy.

kushtrimthaqi

Fall in love!
That’s all I can say for now and all the advice I can give, fall in love!
With what, with whom, or how you do it, well, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you fall in love.
After you have done that (the falling in love part), everything else is unimportant.
Yes, there are things like:
The first poem you write it has to gush out of your soul like a stream of water that just found its way from a deep cave;  turbulent, fast, and impure at the same time!
It has to contain every piece of your soul in it, cause that’s what poetry really is, your soul morphed into a different thing, morphed into a black ink that slithers on a white page, imprinting yourself on it.
But these are details, only details that you will be doing unconsciously, whether you like it…

View original post 143 more words

 

Woman, may I compare you to a rose? July 2, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — pinkdoughnuts15 @ 1:24 pm

Hmm, I feel like I’ve reblogged this already, but it seems I have not. So here is one of the most lovely poems I’ve ever read in…well, ever.

boy with a hat

SayuriEyes on DeviantArt

Woman, may I compare you to a rose?

The rose is short.

You are tall.

The rose is narrow.

You are shapely.

The rose stands still.

You move, you are liquid grace.

View original post 276 more words

 

*TEARS* June 25, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — pinkdoughnuts15 @ 12:33 pm
Tags:
I don't know who the eff this was, but whoever it is...YOU TOTALLY JUST MADE MY ENTIRE DAY :'D

I don’t know who the this was, but whoever it is…YOU TOTALLY JUST MADE MY ENTIRE DAY :’D

 

Who wants to play Cake-tionary? June 19, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — pinkdoughnuts15 @ 9:36 am

GUYS, I WANT A REINDEER CAKE TOO
Me: COME LOOK AT SVEN.
*Sister looks over shoulder*
Me: See his lil antlers?
My Sister: No, I didn’t see the antlers. Why’s he blue…
My Other Sister: Because he’s cold

Drinking Tips for Teens

No, I don’t want an award or a pat on the back or a gift certificate for unlimited foot rubs just because I, a dad, did something that moms do all the time, because I know that makes the moms crazy – or as I like to call them, “the ladies,” but I do so ironically, which means they can’t call me sexist because I’m only pretending to be sexist while being, in fact, totally sexist. I love irony.

I also love my wife for taking care of most of the birthday party planning over the years and being wildly successful at it. She once created a version of Twister in which you not only had to place your foot or hand on a coloured circle but also had to eat weird food that matched that colour. Like the real Twister, this was fun for only so long. But no…

View original post 597 more words

 

Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz Winner Announced!

Filed under: Uncategorized — pinkdoughnuts15 @ 9:29 am

Hey, I’ll take 4th place…that’s pretty awesome for just guessing

LAP Aniversary Banner____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Boy, placing an exclamation point after a contest announcement really hypes it up, eh?  Exclamation points add so much excitement!  Without one, the context completely changes.

But enough of the grammar lessons, because it’s time to reveal the winner of the Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz!  And one more exclamation point just for fun!

Here are the results: 

KSBETH:  20%

SHE’S A MAINEIAC:  20%

THE TATTOO TOURIST:  10%

KRISTEN MCCLARY:  40%

AMY REESE:  0%

EVA:  40%

JACKIE P:  20%

PINK DONUT:  30%

KENDALL F. PERSON:  10%

And the winner is…

ALWAYS A REDHEAD!  50%

Congratulations, Catherine!  Clearly you remembered the most important lesson in school:  if you didn’t study, just guess the letter C.  One of our representatives will be contacting you shortly, and please have your webcam handy when our prize patrol shows up at your door.

Here’s the answer key:

Question 1:

Which member of LAP…

View original post 1,166 more words

 

Help us Celebrate our One Year Anniversary with a Chance to Win Cash and Prizes! June 17, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — pinkdoughnuts15 @ 11:15 am

…Guys, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever. BUT JUST BECAUSE I MIGHT WIN AGAINST ALL POSSIBLE ODDS: CBBDBCAAAB
Oh, and you can, you know, guess too. You might possibly have a chance of winning against all odds too.

SIX MONTHS LATER_UPDATE: I totally could have made a Hunger Games reference. I have no idea why I didn’t.

Carry on.

LAP Aniversary Banner

Today is a very special day here at Long Awkward Pause because it marks our first year anniversary!

*Throws confetti*

*Spits out confetti*

After all the hard work and bantering that’s gone on over the past year, we’ve decided to conduct a pop quiz today to see how well you think you know the staff.

For the first time ever we’re pulling back the curtains to give you a peek into the top-secret lives of each of the group’s members.  In order to do that however, we’re gonna need a little bit of participation from you.

In the spirit of exhibitionism and for the sake of educational purposes, and after signing a liability waiver under duress, each of our staff writers forked over a handful of juicy personal tidbits about themselves to make today’s quiz possible.

Some of these facts are embarrassing, some are enlightening, and some are just  plain ridiculous – but all of…

View original post 534 more words

 

 
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