Who wants to play Cake-tionary? June 19, 2014
GUYS, I WANT A REINDEER CAKE TOO
Me: COME LOOK AT SVEN.
*Sister looks over shoulder*
Me: See his lil antlers?
My Sister: No, I didn’t see the antlers. Why’s he blue…
My Other Sister: Because he’s cold
No, I don’t want an award or a pat on the back or a gift certificate for unlimited foot rubs just because I, a dad, did something that moms do all the time, because I know that makes the moms crazy – or as I like to call them, “the ladies,” but I do so ironically, which means they can’t call me sexist because I’m only pretending to be sexist while being, in fact, totally sexist. I love irony.
I also love my wife for taking care of most of the birthday party planning over the years and being wildly successful at it. She once created a version of Twister in which you not only had to place your foot or hand on a coloured circle but also had to eat weird food that matched that colour. Like the real Twister, this was fun for only so long. But no…
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Hey, I’ll take 4th place…that’s pretty awesome for just guessing
Boy, placing an exclamation point after a contest announcement really hypes it up, eh? Exclamation points add so much excitement! Without one, the context completely changes.
But enough of the grammar lessons, because it’s time to reveal the winner of the Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz! And one more exclamation point just for fun!
Here are the results:
SHE’S A MAINEIAC: 20%
THE TATTOO TOURIST: 10%
KRISTEN MCCLARY: 40%
AMY REESE: 0%
JACKIE P: 20%
PINK DONUT: 30%
KENDALL F. PERSON: 10%
And the winner is…
Congratulations, Catherine! Clearly you remembered the most important lesson in school: if you didn’t study, just guess the letter C. One of our representatives will be contacting you shortly, and please have your webcam handy when our prize patrol shows up at your door.
Here’s the answer key:
Which member of LAP…
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…Guys, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever. BUT JUST BECAUSE I MIGHT WIN AGAINST ALL POSSIBLE ODDS: CBBDBCAAAB
Oh, and you can, you know, guess too. You might possibly have a chance of winning against all odds too.
SIX MONTHS LATER_UPDATE: I totally could have made a Hunger Games reference. I have no idea why I didn’t.
Today is a very special day here at Long Awkward Pause because it marks our first year anniversary!
*Spits out confetti*
After all the hard work and bantering that’s gone on over the past year, we’ve decided to conduct a pop quiz today to see how well you think you know the staff.
For the first time ever we’re pulling back the curtains to give you a peek into the top-secret lives of each of the group’s members. In order to do that however, we’re gonna need a little bit of participation from you.
In the spirit of exhibitionism and for the sake of educational purposes, and after signing a liability waiver under duress, each of our staff writers forked over a handful of juicy personal tidbits about themselves to make today’s quiz possible.
Some of these facts are embarrassing, some are enlightening, and some are just plain ridiculous – but all of…
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I Can’t. Believe. It’s Summer. June 16, 2014
THAT’S NOT STOPPING ME FROM JUMPING UP AND DOWN THOUGH!!
Okay, so last time I actually wrote something (other than yesterday) was May 26th (…sorry guys) and THE WORLD has happened since then.
Okay, not exactly literally…but you know what I mean.
But for real. Since then I have:
- Signed up for a college class (Accounting I…and no, I do NOT want to be an accountant…more like an event planner or a singer)
- Got into the National Honors Society (BUH BAM!).
- Made doughnuts
- Printed out a list of 100 Things I Need To Do This Summer (that may or may not me cooler…but whatever, it sounded fun).
- Emailed my friend that I haven’t heard from in MONTHS
- Got my second semester grades back from the school (ALL. FREAKING. A’S. *sheds a lone tear of joy :’D**okay maybe a few lone tears of joy**okay, maybe a sob of joy**okay, maybe a RIVER of tears of joy…..you get the point**but despite all these asterisks, I didn’t actually cry at all**so yup*)
- I got a Skype account
- Spread love to the universe (..well, I’m working on it)
- Started writing a story with a friend (just wait til I show you guys some of it)(!!!!!)
- And wrote you guys a story/post about doughnuts, videochatting, asterisks, and a river of tears.
My work here is done.
Dang it June 15, 2014
But *shakes hand reluctantly anyways*
BUT, I thought I’d go ahead and say I LUUUUURRRRVVVV you too :3 And say you are one of my most favoritest people on WordPress and I always look forward to reading whatever you have to say!
SO NEVER STOP WRITING/ POSTING OR I’LL HAVE TO START STALKING YOU O-O Then you’ll never be able to stalk Matty Boy again…so then I’ll have to do it…and I’m probably not as interesting a stalker as you, so yeah. That should be good enough of a reason.
And to my lovely WordPress followers who may be beginning to debate my alive-ness, I’M ALIVE! And I’m working on a post as we speak. Which will probably end up being posted on like, Wednesday. But I LOVE YOU GUYS and I’m not dead, and I shall post eventually.