I couldn’t find a box of donuts that didn’t look gross or have dunkin donuts on it September 14, 2014

Freaking crap, I leave for a few months, and BAM! WordPress looks like something worthy of the title ‘2014’. And I haven’t even looked at everything yet, apparently.

IS THE SNOW-Y BUTTON STILL THERE?!

I wouldn’t know, I haven’t actually looked yet. I also forget how to turn it on. But I’m pretty sure I had it so that it would turn on whenever it’s supposed to turn on. I’m not really sure.

ANYWHO, I just wanted to reassure everyone that I’m alive, and that school hasn’t killed me yet. I haven’t actually written anything remotely funny lately (well, there was this one thing, but I just sprinkled some funny stuff ’cause it was supposed to be one of those serious thingies), so don’t be surprised if you’re severely disappointed at my loss of ‘skillz’.

In the coming weeks/days, I’m going to try to log on and write some sentences about what’s been going on. Because there’s been a TONNNNNN going on. Like, you have no idea. I can’t even try to tell it all write now because ti would take hours. Literally, hours. So I’ll spread it out between a few days, while telling you what’s happening that day (which will be Everything or Nothing).

I would start now, but I’m kinda hungry…sooo here’s a picture of foods so that you guys can suffer with me.

I am nothing if not generous.

I bid you all adieu!

The Post In Which I Include A Picture of Tyler Perry Dressed As A Woman July 13, 2014

Hello my wonderful fellow bloggers! It’s been awhile since I posted an actual post (June 16th, to be precise), so I decided to relieve your tired eyes (that should be asleep) and grace you with my amazing wit and funnyness.

PREPARE TO BE AMAZED.

So guys, this could just me being, well, me, but I am one of those people who like to know where I stand. I like to know the kind of person I’m talking too. I like to know what they think of me and so on and so forth.

What? I’m a girl, okay? I can’t be COMPLETELY perfect…

Just kidding, I am.

(Just kidding.)

But anyways, has it ever bothered anyone else when you’re talking to someone online (for me, it’s in my online classes for school), and you don’t know whether they’re a guy or a girl?

Tyler Perry? Madea? Tydea? Maperry?

Maybe it’s just a girl thing (or maybe it’s just a me thing) but it kind of bothers me. It didn’t used to…but now it does. Just a little. It’s kinda like an itch on your back. It’s hard to reach, but you can juuuuust scratch it. And then you go on your merry way, right?

But then 60 SECONDS LATER, it itches again.

There was this one time in 9th grade when I met this person in my English class. Their name was Dakota. I had a friend whose name was Dakota, and she’s a girl, so I thought “HEY LOOK! Another girl Dakota!! :D”

*Fast-forward to the middle of second semester*

A lot of the high school students had to switch homeroom teacher because our system was changing, so I ended up having the same HR teacher as Dakota. So we were all introducing ourselves and this one girl was like “I’m sorry for asking this Dakota, but I was just wondering…are you a girl or a boy?” to which he replied “Haha, no problem. I’m a guy :)”

That whole semester and a half of which he was my friend, I had assumed he was a girl. So I acted like he was a girl, without directly saying anything that SOUNDED like I thought he was a girl. I told my best guy friend later, and he laughed so hard…I kinda wanted to punch him in the shoulder, but 1) he lived on the other side of the state and 2) it was kinda of funny.

Just a teeny bit.

But WHILE I’m on the topic of genders, HOW CAN YOU PROPERLY SAY AN ANIMAL PICTURE IS CUTE WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT GENDER IT IS!? I mean, you’d either have to say “AWWWW! [Fill in the Blank] is so cuuuuuuute!” or “AWWWW! It’s so cuuuuuuuute!”

You can’t go around saying [Fill in the blank]! That’s ridiculous! And you can’t say IT. It’s not an it. It has a gender. ANIMALS HAVE FEELINGS TOO.

LOOK AT THESE EYES.

5 MONTHS LATER_UPDATE: Despite the over abundant use of capitalization, I was completely calm while writing this post…just wanted to throw that out there.

I Can’t. Believe. It’s Summer. June 16, 2014

THAT’S NOT STOPPING ME FROM JUMPING UP AND DOWN THOUGH!!

Okay, so last time I actually wrote something (other than yesterday) was May 26th (…sorry guys) and THE WORLD has happened since then.

Okay, not exactly literally…but you know what I mean.

But for real. Since then I have:

• Signed up for a college class (Accounting I…and no, I do NOT want to be an accountant…more like an event planner or a singer)
  

  Cause sometimes, you just have to put a book on your head

• Got into the National Honors Society (BUH BAM!).
• Made doughnuts
  

  And they were delicious

• Printed out a list of 100 Things I Need To Do This Summer (that may or may not me cooler…but whatever, it sounded fun).
• Emailed my friend that I haven’t heard from in MONTHS
  

  To which I got this response
  Don’t you just love him?

• Got my second semester grades back from the school (ALL. FREAKING. A’S. *sheds a lone tear of joy :’D**okay maybe a few lone tears of joy**okay, maybe a sob of joy**okay, maybe a RIVER of tears of joy…..you get the point**but despite all these asterisks, I didn’t actually cry at all**so yup*)
• I got a Skype account
  

  How I’ve waited for this moment.

• Spread love to the universe (..well, I’m working on it)
• Started writing a story with a friend (just wait til I show you guys some of it)(!!!!!)
• And wrote you guys a story/post about doughnuts, videochatting, asterisks, and a river of tears.

My work here is done.

My Review for Paper Towns by John Green: May 26, 2014

John Green…I love you. Like, seriously love you. Are you married? Is there somewhere I can file a marriage request? Courting request? Dating request? Polishing shoes request? I’ll do one of them. Or two. Or all. It all works.
But I LOVE this book. The Fault in Our Stars is still the best…BUT THIS IS DEFINITELY THE SECOND. How come they’re not making a movie out of this one? I mean, I would totally watch it… and it wouldn’t even have be as heart-wrenching as the Stars movie is going to be. I mean, what actor wouldn’t want to fake-break into Sea World? I WOULD! I mean, I’m not an actor or anything….but still.
Now, I love it with all my heart (I really do) but we do have a few problemo’s…
1) Quentin was too mushy. John (can I call you John?), sweetheart (that too?), I know you were trying to make it all deep and fill up pages and what-not, but the conversations Q had with himself were a teeny bit too deep. I mean, I have deep thoughts and all, but not THAT deep. That’s like, drowning in the ocean after playing with sharks deep. At some points in the story, the deep-ness was good. I got it. But at other points…he should have had less girl-ish thoughts. Just saying.
2) Q was a tiny bit obsessed with Margo. For real. Long-time crush or no, that’s kinda creepy.

But otherwise, I think it was all good. I FREAKING LOVED THE ROAD TRIP, though. That was by far my most FAVORITE part of the ENTIRE book.

Now about those shoe polishing requests…