New Year (kinda?) New Blog September 16, 2019

What’s up my dudes!! Long time no see!

Four years no see, to be exact…

But anyway. Since I’m old and cool and bored now, I’ve made a new site that y’all can check out and follow and all that jazz. It’ll definitely be more of a serious type thing…but you guys read too much Twitter anyway (no offense to the twitter kids because I too am a Twitter kid).

Feel free to check it out and leave comments! I posted an introductory post and am currently working on my first for real post.

Stay tuned!!!!

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I’M ALIVE July 6, 2015

And back from the dead!

I know, I know…you’re welcome.

But man. This summer and 2nd semester of school was some busy stuff. First, I had to make sure I passed the one subject I had left to pass (which I did. And, might I add, with flying colors). Then I had to, you know, graduate and stuff. It was a struggle guys…BUT I GOT THROUGH IT! And on a completely random side note, I had to use a chromebook for like, 3 weeks, and it had no Caps Lock. So now I use the shift button all the time.

Well, at least my thumb is getting a good workout (am I the only one the uses just their thumb to hit the shift key?)!

I also went to Florida for all of June (YAY!!!) and that was fun. My mom took me to Universal and Wet and Wild for my senior trip. Favorite Universal Part: GOING ON THE HULK THREE TIMES IN A ROW! My mom didn’t like it, BUT I DID!! I wish we’d gone again, actually…Also, we went to downtown disney. Which is the best. Favorite Wet n Wild Part: Um. Well. The lazy river was cool. AND I LOVED THE BLACK HOLE. It was just wayyyy too short. I cannot, however, WAIT to see what they do with the place after they tear it all down next year. They better be making some long rides.

Favorite Part of the Entire Vacation: My mom and I went down to Orlando a day ahead of the rest of my sisters so that she could go to her 20 year class reunion and so that I could babysit for her friend’s child (I LOVE that kid, by the way). So I went out with her to another friend’s work place so that she could do some work. And I drove a gold cart around and looked at wrecked cars. And I got to listen to plenty of music. And I got to tease her friend. And, basically, I was an only child for the day.

IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT I WAS MISSING OUT ON

I wouldn’t trade my sisters for anything in the world, though. Who else would I play barbie’s with?

But all in all, this summer has been great so far. I am excited for what the rest has to offer of itself.

Now, HERE ARE SOME ROAD TRIP PICTURES!

I have no idea what this is, but I think it calls for a Dr. Suess joke

My sisters and I were cleaning the blinds in my grandma’s house, and the cleaning cloth actually looked pretty cool

The car bunny and the unicorn my friend gave me. They make a lovely couple.

Took this picture when we had 2 hours left to go!

Swiftmas January 8, 2015

I already love Taylor, but this was absolutely AMAZING. I teared up, like, 3 times.

THERE WERE SO MANY TEARS

My First 2015 Post (Which May or May Not Be As Boring As This Title) January 5, 2015

Hey guys! It’s 2015!

I mean, the 2015. The year I’ve dreaded/looked forward too/put off (as much as you can put a year off). It’s been a very interesting first 4 days.

But anyways, now comes the part where I address the problem of my lack of posting. I know that some of you have seen me here and there, reading and liking and commenting on different posts, but I haven’t posted anything since October 21st. I haven’t actually posted something since September 14th.

That, my friends, is a very short amount of time in dog years, but I’m afraid that most of my readers are not dogs, so that leaves me no excuse.

I must now jump off of a dock into the unknown waters of…um…the lake. Yeah.

Just kidding, I have too many plans to do that. Yet.

But ANYWHO, I have decided that, for your reading pleasure, I’ll post one of those What Was I Thinking?! posts. You know, the ones where you look back on previous posts and cringe. IT’LL BE GREAT!!

1. There’s No Place Like… I have no idea what I was thinking. This was the most stupid beginning post I have ever seen in my up-to-now existence. I didn’t even yell at anyone coming down my street. I lied to make it more uh…’interesting’. And what’s with the wondering what face a dog makes at birth? That just sounds crazy.

2. Doing Absolutely Nothing… I do not understand my obsession with putting “…” in the title. Apparently, I felt it was necessary here. And since when do you need to justify somebody is good looking? They were born so you could stare at them. That’s the price you pay when you’re good looking.

3. Not for myself, but for our world in neeed First of all, I would like to assure the world that I’m not crazy. Because this just sounded crazy. I didn’t do anything on this list, by the way, except for stick a marshmallow in a tree.

Needless to say, it wasn’t that exciting.

4. Ahh…the Yew Near There’s actually not really as much wrong with this, I just didn’t even read 50 books that year. Fail.

5. Mortal terror=chips

I can’t believe I decided to re-visit that topic…and half of what I wrote didn’t even make any sense…

I didn’t put these in any particular order but if you want to, you know, cringe with me, be my guest.

The moment I started listening to the conversation downstairs while I was writing this post, I heard my whole family pairing me up with guys from school…. September 14, 2014

Okay, since I wasn’t here, it was kinda hard to know that I got a bajillion awards from bunched of lovely WordPress people (actually, it was just this person, but HEY, I’LL TAKE IT!).

Okay, so:

1. What is your favorite writing spot? I saved this one for last because I really have absolutely no idea/don’t think I have one. I’ve written on the floor, in a classroom, at a table with really hard chairs…I’ll write anywhere, but I don’t think that I’ve found a favorite spot yet!
2. Tea or coffee? TEA! But the herbal kind. Mixed with honey. And lemon juice. It’s amazing.
3. Do you prefer to write at a certain time or in a certain kind of weather? Ermmm not particularly, I don’t think. I write when I feel like it/have a REALLY GOOD IDEA. And even when I have a good idea, I sometimes don’t even write THAT down (..it’s because I’m boring. sorry guys).
4. Do you have a hard time coming up with these questions, too? Yes, but that’s when I just go ahead and ask stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with anything…like chair legs! Or snowglobes! Or eyebrow hairs! Gotta love them eyebrow hairs.
5. Are there any plants on the deck at the moment? (If so, what kind?) Well, there’s a plant on the windowsill…and I’m not exactly sure. The person that gave it to us said it was grapes (I’m pretty sure) but the pot says that it’s some kind of flower…so now I’m confused. But I just water it and go along with it, and hope that by the time it’s mostly grown, I can wake up one morning and be all like “DUDE OH MY GOSH IT’S A {fill in the blank}!! I TOTALLY KNEW IT!!”

I am much too lazy to nominate people, so WHOEVER LOOKS AT THIS, I give you my formal permission to go ahead and answer the questions that I shall list for you below.

1. …Did they shorten the length of questions you’re supposed to give out? I always thought it was 10 or 20 or something.
2. What is your favorite cute little animal, and why?
3. If you could live in a non-dystopian world, which one would you live in, and why?
4. If you could stop time for 5 minutes (as in, everyone freezes for 5 minutes, but you can still move around), what would you do?
5. How many siblings do you have, and which one is the least/most annoying? (If you’re an only child…I don’t know, make up the perfect sibling or something.)

Have at it, my pretties :3

How to become a poet? July 9, 2014

Okay, well don’t LITERALLY fall, but I’m with this guy.

kushtrimthaqi

Fall in love!
That’s all I can say for now and all the advice I can give, fall in love!
With what, with whom, or how you do it, well, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you fall in love.
After you have done that (the falling in love part), everything else is unimportant.
Yes, there are things like:
The first poem you write it has to gush out of your soul like a stream of water that just found its way from a deep cave;  turbulent, fast, and impure at the same time!
It has to contain every piece of your soul in it, cause that’s what poetry really is, your soul morphed into a different thing, morphed into a black ink that slithers on a white page, imprinting yourself on it.
But these are details, only details that you will be doing unconsciously, whether you like it…

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Woman, may I compare you to a rose? July 2, 2014

Hmm, I feel like I’ve reblogged this already, but it seems I have not. So here is one of the most lovely poems I’ve ever read in…well, ever.

boy with a hat

Woman, may I compare you to a rose?

The rose is short.

You are tall.

The rose is narrow.

You are shapely.

The rose stands still.

You move, you are liquid grace.

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*TEARS* June 25, 2014

I don’t know who the this was, but whoever it is…YOU TOTALLY JUST MADE MY ENTIRE DAY :’D

Who wants to play Cake-tionary? June 19, 2014

GUYS, I WANT A REINDEER CAKE TOO
Me: COME LOOK AT SVEN.
*Sister looks over shoulder*
Me: See his lil antlers?
My Sister: No, I didn’t see the antlers. Why’s he blue…
My Other Sister: Because he’s cold

Drinking Tips for Teens

No, I don’t want an award or a pat on the back or a gift certificate for unlimited foot rubs just because I, a dad, did something that moms do all the time, because I know that makes the moms crazy – or as I like to call them, “the ladies,” but I do so ironically, which means they can’t call me sexist because I’m only pretending to be sexist while being, in fact, totally sexist. I love irony.

I also love my wife for taking care of most of the birthday party planning over the years and being wildly successful at it. She once created a version of Twister in which you not only had to place your foot or hand on a coloured circle but also had to eat weird food that matched that colour. Like the real Twister, this was fun for only so long. But no…

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Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz Winner Announced!

Hey, I’ll take 4th place…that’s pretty awesome for just guessing

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Boy, placing an exclamation point after a contest announcement really hypes it up, eh?  Exclamation points add so much excitement!  Without one, the context completely changes.

But enough of the grammar lessons, because it’s time to reveal the winner of the Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz!  And one more exclamation point just for fun!

Here are the results: 

KSBETH:  20%

SHE’S A MAINEIAC:  20%

THE TATTOO TOURIST:  10%

KRISTEN MCCLARY:  40%

AMY REESE:  0%

EVA:  40%

JACKIE P:  20%

PINK DONUT:  30%

KENDALL F. PERSON:  10%

And the winner is…

ALWAYS A REDHEAD!  50%

Congratulations, Catherine!  Clearly you remembered the most important lesson in school:  if you didn’t study, just guess the letter C.  One of our representatives will be contacting you shortly, and please have your webcam handy when our prize patrol shows up at your door.

Here’s the answer key:

Question 1:

Which member of LAP…

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